Dear Author Joe
I may not have written Peter Pan, but I didn’t carve this statue of him either
The one sure way to make money in publishing is off the backs of gullible authors. Offering dubious marketing schemes, for example.
If I had any brains at all I would give up my foolish dream of making a go of it as an author and immediately start exploiting my fellow authors for all they’re worth. I would likely make a mint.
I expect I would be better at it than the fellow who attempted to offer me his services today.
“Dear Author Joe,” he texted me via Linked In. “I hope this email finds you well. I came across your book and was impressed by the quality of your writing and the engaging storyline. As an experienced book promoter, I believe that your book has the potential to reach a wider audience and achieve greater success. I would like to offer you my professional book promotion services to help you achieve your goals.”
He went on in this vein at some length. I do not believe he had either me (or any of my books’) best interests at heart. Even if I were to give him the benefit of the doubt he was certainly going about it the wrong way.
“Thanks for reaching out,” I wrote back. “Which book of mine are you referring to? Did you actually purchase it and read it? Can you be more specific about what you found appealing? What marketing tools and techniques do you employ? Thanks.”
I’ll say one thing for the fellow, he was prompt in responding.
“Hi Joe, thanks for your reply! I came across PETER PAN through a friend of mine. I had to pay her few bucks to get it, cause I was going for holiday then, this what made me contact you through LinkedIn to offer you my digital marketing skills, I have years of experience in this field and I believe, my team and I can get you your Desired results (sic).”
“Thanks for the info,” I texted back, almost as promptly. “However, I did not write Peter Pan. J.M. Barrie wrote Peter Pan at the turn of the last century. Your assessment of its quality is certainly accurate; it has done quite well for itself. I do not believe I will be requiring your services. All the best, Joe.”
